just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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