He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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