just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
