Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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