Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
