My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
