put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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