Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
