the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
