he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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