Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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