i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
