the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
