So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize