grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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