apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
