he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
