That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
