i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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