Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
