Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
