If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
