a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
