he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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