if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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