Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize