Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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