I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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