I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
