the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
