god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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