So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
