i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
