Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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