yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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