I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
