And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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