If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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