It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
