I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
