Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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