I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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