I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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