I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
