my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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