you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
