i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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