soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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