69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
