its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
