Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
