As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
