why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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