Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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