why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
