How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
